notes from los angeles

alternative title: ideas for instagram captions

There’s more cars than trees everything is not gray it’s like brownish and looks like dirt but it’s not dirt it’s LA 

There must be a lot of weight on ur head with all the things u do to cover ur hair all the time 


I still want to smell the same even if I’m in a big city  

If anything at least I can pretend that I have an amazing life on social media it’s the least I could expect from this place 



Ok señor take care of urself then 

His thumb looks like a walrus 

Stood very still and tried to make myself feel scared

Carne asada
2 pastor
2 cabeza 

It’s easy to give people more credit than they deserve here and it’s easy to make above average stories that you can’t stare too hard at or the buildings start fizzing out like seltzer 


The guy who makes the tacos is named benito and he makes them in the parking lot next to a true value hardware store 

In the way everyone hates Hollywood but something few people realize about California is that all the buildings look like shit and the really surprising bit is a little more in the way the buildings give you the idea to try to feel like it’s all not shit, maybe 

Everyone here has a lot of opinions and knows all the terms for different kinds of gay people  

Some human is driving around LA with my luggage 

My gum hurts from where my brother scratched me 

If you don’t believe in anything might as well believe in urself is how everyone lives here


She told me that’s what she’d always wanted. To have a guy stop in the middle of the road, roll down his window and ask her what he should do in this part of town, to think that she’d know the answer to that sort of question just maybe by the way she wore her jacket, and instead of telling him to park his car and walk around, she’d ask if she ought to get in and show him and that’s how adults would make friends. 

She also wanted to rob the people who went to coffeeshops since if they’d pay six dollars for some caffeinated water, they’d be the kinds of people who would be easy to rob. 

I thought coming here would mean that I’d go to open mics in cafes every week to perform all the big handful amounts of stories I’d written in a fresh off the presses manner and it’d be just like the movies and then

I look up at the sky and it’s true there’s no stars ever


Every place already looks effortlessly trampled on in the authentic way you’d want your movies to look like and it’s paradise 

Air one 

Meghan Markle got married and I checked my phone first thing in the morning. I thought about it for most of the day and concluded that she looked like a dollop of toothpaste 


I stared at the girl at Brandy Melville folding clothes for ten minutes today from various angles in the store. She had a baby pink chin length bob and fairy wisps as eyelashes and two dots under her eyes, like her signature and a red corduroy jacket and black check mini skirt and a cropped top and perky everything and I have A CRUSH and then Claire said she was a manic pixie dream girl and then I remembered I was in LA but it didn’t make her less cute just because she played her part well and I couldn’t hate that even though everyone here only believes in themselves. She also had three necklaces on and maybe a nose ring and maybe a secret tattoo somewhere and definitely really a British accent and fishnet stockings and everything is perfect and I’m in love and she just walked past me two times as I was writing this. Then I took a pin that said “I heart San Francisco” on it to remember her 


We thought we heard a screech outside and I didn’t have a weapon or shoes on and I wasn’t sure what was the correct protocol or swiftness to save a potentially already dead 2-day old friend and friendship but I slipped on a sweater and swiped a plastic fork from the table and Claire speed dialed 911 and by the time we stepped out to our front porch slightly less manic that I imagined would be appropriate Audrey had already returned with her laundered swim cap and asked us if we were on our way to get tacos without her 

I remember Max Weber telling me one time that he saw a real person getting crushed by a car in front of his eyes 

Rotating sushi restaurant 

Someone with a clipboard asked me if I cared about civil rights and I nervous-laughed and said no and then angled away. I didn’t want to be wrangled into a conversation but what a way to frame the question.

The maybe drug dealer who is our neighbor might have gotten arrested in our back parking lot, except no one knows for sure since I was not home and Emily was too scared to look outside the window. We just heard “put your hands up or we’ll shoot”, and he hasn’t sat outside his porch for a few days now, or called us “baby” on our way to the laundry room.


Makes popcorn in the mornings so the room smells like sweet butter 

I chipped the back part of my bottom right tooth and no one can see it but it’s cutting my tongue 

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